JETBLACK CYCLING, “Coaches” code.


1/ Never…EVER, wear bib shorts only

No exceptions to this rule….. Unless your name starts with Angelina and ends with Jolie


2/ No faking it!! Hit that resistance lever, if confused follow Velominati rule # 5 (HARDEN THE **** UP!)

Nothing worse than working your butt off and the person sitting next to you is matching your pedal stroke but just won’t shut up. As soon as the interval is over they sit up and act like it hurt. “Mate we all know you have NO resistance on your trainer”

3/ No sweat bands……….unless you have come straight from the tennis court

It’s not the eighties……cycling caps are fine but get rid of those dirty old sweat bands


4/ Empty your bladder and fill your bottles before.


Would you stop in a race to fill up your bottles? What happens when you stop for a pee in a race…..you get left behind!! Sort your shit out, refer to rule #2

5/ Clothing rules still apply…….that includes socks


Just because you are riding indoors there is no excuse not to look the part. Looking good is essential to being a good cyclist….if you can’t be bothered you should take up Multi sport

6/ No rainbow or country Kit

At some point we all become the World Champion on our trainers, but that’s no excuse…even indoors

7/ Spitting….hell no! Clearing the nose……not even in your towel


Think about it…..You’re indoors….. Snotting into your towel then using that to wipe your bike down!!!!…. Bedroom rules apply

8/ Towel choice…..flowery towels always leads to point # 2……The Fakers.

9/ Clean up in this Order, Your Bike….Trainer….the floor then yourself.


Dam sure your bike is better looking than you, then for some the trainer comes next. If you go to the floor, then there’s no hope……keep riding.

10 / Setting a lower body weight than your actual weight on sites like ZWIFT

You have just added your name to the list of Dopers!! You are properly the person who has also welded the lawn mower engine to your down tube…..Harden the …. up cheat.

11/ A COFFEE ride indoors is just that. Make sure you have your Short Black sitting next to you as you start

Milky, frothy coffees are for Gym bunnies and Triathletes……go black and short 

12/ maxresdefaultAs on the road…..Always look good….or turn out the lights.


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